Five years gone now from us, our precious five. Some days it feels like just yesterday, some days it feels like two lifetimes ago. Today it somehow feels like both. Five years ago when this unexpected journey began, there was no road map for us. The sudden, shocking, searing pain was new to us. If I had been asked what would have been an unimaginable tragedy, this would not have made the cut. I could not have fathomed this. With no road map, we now mark five years. We are five years closer to seeing our loved ones, which is a blessing and gift. Five years closer to our heavenly reunion. Yet, we are now so far from our last embrace, word of encouragement, joyful announcement to eachother, picture texted, silly joke, and all of our memories. With time, the intensity of the grief has subsided. Its now more like a dull ache. The shock has worn off, although I still wake up at times wondering if they’re really still gone. As time creates a chasm between our last embrace and conversation, I long for intense feelings and memories, which were so frequent in the beginning. It is a true gift that life goes on, and the Lord comforts our broken hearts, brings new life, and gives us an eternal focus. But, as time goes, and the searing pain turns to an ache, I feel further from them. It is comforting, while also heartwrenching.Kathryne was beautiful, inside and out. She was quiet, calm, intense, competitive, strong, loving, and servant-hearted. Her heart’s desire was to be a mom, and she lived that to the fullest for the last years of her life. Jamison was wise, servant-hearted, a wonderful husband to my baby sis, an amazing dad, and so much more that I was never blessed to get to know. Ezra was energetic, strong-willed, playful and wanted to be a worker guy when he grew up. Violet was almost two, spoke so well for her young age, loved to suck her finger and go to Caribou, and lit up the room with her wrinkle-nose smile. Calvin was just a babe, so sweet and innocent. As we long for our heavenly reunion, I can close my eyes and clearly see Kathryne, Jamison, Ezra, Violet and Calvin. They’re forever frozen in time for us. We age, and they stay the exact same as we remember them five years ago today. They entered glory together, five years ago today, all five of them, never a moment apart. They fought the good fight, finished the race, and kept the faith. As our journey and race continues here on earth, I am so thankful for the hope we have in Jesus and the joyful reunion we will have with all of the saints that went before us. Kathryne, Jamison, Ezra, Violet and Calvin, you are missed intensely, remembered clearly, and having a huge impact for the kingdom. I long for one more embrace and conversation, but cherish the time we were blessed to have with you. May our roadmap of this unexpected journey continue to point our hearts and minds to God’s faithfulness, love and comfort.